Taking your time to grief
Grief is the normal response of sorrow, emotion, and confusion that comes from losing someone or something important to you such as the death of someone close to you, even a pet, divorce, loss of job or loss of good health due to illness. Grieving is a personal and highly individual experience.
Depending on factors such as personality, coping style, life experience, one’s faith and the nature and significance of loss, people grieve differently. The grieving process takes time and healing happens gradually. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process may take much longer.
How does grief feel?
Just after a death or loss, you may feel empty and numb. You feel sadness and despair, wondering if you can ever feel happy again. You may have dreams or nightmares, be absent-minded, withdraw socially, or find it hard to concentrate. Many people in grief also experience guilt. They feel guilty
about not treating the person who has passed on better and keep running in their head with thoughts like - "I could have, I should have, and I wish I didn’t …."
Physical symptoms of grief can include weakness, sleep disturbances, loss of appetite, headaches, back pain, indigestion, shortness of breath, heart palpitations and even occasional dizziness and nausea.
People who have experienced a loss need sympathetic company, reassurance and willingness by others to listen. What the bereaved say they want most are offers of specific practical support, expressions of concern and the presence of people who are close to them.
People should not try to discourage expressions of grief or shut off discussions about the person who died, since this is part of the healing process. Understanding that this is a highly emotional time for the bereaved and assuring them that their anger, guilt and other feelings are all normal and part of the grieving process is the most supportive thing you can do.
There are people who have difficulty coping with their grief and they become depressed, anxious or physically ill. In such cases, it is important that they get help from a family doctor or a professional counsellor. Contact us at CHAT if you or someone you know need help to cope with grief.
|