People
who do not choose to live…they tend to die easily.
Yet
not everyone who chooses to live gets to live.
But
if they don’t even make that choice to live…they don’t stand a chance.
This knowledge of life belongs to
Yishai Shalif, a senior School Psychologist and a narrative therapist. He
directs the School Psychological Services in Modiin Ilit,
Israel, and is co-director
of Qesem Center. He teaches narrative ideas and
their different applications, and has a private practice in Jerusalem where he lives. He was my trainer
in Narrative Therapy in Responding to Trauma.
While he had made the above
observations through his contact with people (both children and adults) who
were trauma victims of terrorist attacks and war, I can see its applications in
settings beyond terrorism and war.
I resonated with his first
observation because of personal encounters with such people. I felt sad with
his second observation because it reminded me of some people whom I knew. I
felt shocked with his third observation, even though it was possibly an
elaboration of his first observation.
“Do I have a choice?” – is a common
statement that I hear from young people struggling to accept their newly
diagnosed mental illness.
Even for myself who has yet to be
diagnosed by anyone to be having any mental illness. When I think of my
difficult times, I realized there were countless such situations where I had
made a similar statement to myself too – Do I have a choice?
Now as I recalled back to those
times, I realized I did.
Which made me wonder – how many of
us, in times of difficult situations, or situations where we had perceived to
be difficult, are able to realize that regardless of the difficulty, we have
choices? Even if it means making a choice to get out of that difficult
situation, that I thought, is a powerful choice made.
I am currently working with a young girl
who, despite her age, had already been through many difficult situations –
abuse, separation, moving from one place to another, and recently, being diagnosed
with Schizophrenia. Making ends meet was and may continue to be a daily affair
for her. What amazes me is that even till now, I am not getting any hints from her that she plans to give up. Not yet.
Young girl: “I felt God at night…
He was trying to take me away… But I didn’t want to go..”
Me: “What stopped you from going
with God?”
Young girl: “I still want to challenge life.”